"And yet, at the same time, your ex doesn't totally go away either. The daily dramas do turn into weekly ones, and no one, including yourself, wants to hear your same old s**t. But there are times when you need to talk it out, you need a dose of sanity from a trusted source. Usually as soon as humanly possible so you rapidly fire off a few texts. Flipping that on it's head, the good days bring even more moments of desired urgent sharing. When something great happens to you or your kids, you want to share the pride, joy, relief and success. So you email this one and call that one. If they haven't lived it, if they sleep next to someone every night and have that guaranteed daily source of connection, it's likely that this one and that one won't respond with any urgency."